I Kiss Him But Love You
by Alexandria Winters
Summary: He kissed me with such a passion, a passion I couldn't return. It felt wrong and out of place, my heart doesn't belong to him. My heart belongs to my best friend, my best friend who already has a girlfriend. Yes, I am still hung up and in love with Phil Brooks, otherwise known as CM Punk.


He kissed me with such a passion, a passion I couldn't return. It felt wrong and out of place, my heart doesn't belong to him. My heart belongs to my best friend, my best friend who already has a girlfriend. Yes, I am still hung up and in love with Phil Brooks, otherwise known as CM Punk.

Our lips seperated as we began making our way down to the ring with a chorus of boos. "Approaching the ring, accompanied by Big E. Langston and AJ Lee, he is the World Heavyweight Champion, Dolph Ziggler!" We pranced around doing the usual, "showing off" is what we call it.

_Your time is up. My time is now. You can't see me, my time is now! It's the franchise boy I'm shining now. You can't see me, my time is now!_

"Making his way to the ring, from West Newbury, Massachusetts, he is the WWE Champion, John Cena!" I pretended to be giving Dolph a pep talk, because all four of us knew John would be the winner that the bell was rung and this Champion versus Champion match-up began. Dolph started it off with quick kicks to John's stomach, but John quickly countered the third kick, caught his leg, and threw him to the ground. The match was back0-and-forth for about twelve minutes when finally John finished Dolph off with an Attitude Adjustment then made him tap out to a STF.

As soon as we got backstage I removed myself from the grasp Dolph had me in and began to quickly walk towards the Divas locker room. "Hey April, could you wait up a sec?"

Reluctantly I turned around to face him. "Please call me AJ. What is it Dolph?"

"Well I was wondering if you wanted to go hang out somewhere after Raw-"

"What we have is on-screen, there is nothing going on between us personally." I felt like a jerk as the emotion on his face changed from confidence to what seemed to be a mix of sadness and embarrassment.

"Oh, I understand." I turned around and walked off to the locker room feeling guilt rush within me. Ignoring everyone along the way I made it there in record time, only to get my heart broken along with Dolph's. Down the hall Phil and Amy, or Lita, were talking, anf=d they seemed rather cozy and flirtatious to me. Of course they would be, she's his _girlfriend._ My emotions were running wild as I felt broken. Jealous. Alone. When things couldn't seem to get any worse Amy saw me.

"Hey AJ."

I tried to make a last minute attempt to just go inside and pretend like I hadn't heard her when Phil ruined my chances. "Hey AJ, wanna join us for a chat?"

I grimaced then turned around smiling. "Sure. Hey Lita, Punk."

Lita actually looked genuinely happy to see me, that's new. "So how've you been AJ since you stopped making out with my boyfriend?"

That's right, the last time I actually talked to her was the night I kissed Phil then pushed him off the top rope, and onto a table with Daniel. I laughed at the joke that she made, but it still hurt a lot inside. "Good." I lied. "I've been climbing my way up and will hopefully be Divas Champ soon."

"That's wonderful! You just turning out to be the new me."

I tried to take little offense. Although most would've taken it as a compliment I found that rude. Why? I am my own person and my own persona. I am original, not anyone's wannabe. "Thanks, it means a lot." Again, I'm just playing the lying game.

The conversation got a little awkward and silent until Phil finally spoke up. "So Amy and I are going out to get something to eat after RAW, would you like to join us?"

Just gotta make up an excuse. "No, sorry but I'm having a girls' night with Kaitlyn."

Amy looked pretty disappointed. "Well maybe next time then."

What I felt like saying, _never. Why watch you throw Phil in my face? _What I actually said instead, "I guess. Well, bye."

I quickly made my way into the locker room catching the attention of Kaitlyn. "Where have you been? You said you'd meet me here five minutes ago!"

"Sorry K, so what's the boy problem?" I made haste changing into yellow skinny jeans, a Vegeta t-shirt a fan gave me, and some black high-top chucks.

"Well, you have to promise not to laugh."

"Okay, what? Shoot."

"I like Sheamus and Seth."

I looked at her astonished. "What happened to 'Oh Seth is so dreamy' and 'Seth is the only one for me'?"

"Well Stephen actually shows interest in me and Seth never is receptive to signals I send him."

"Why don't you just tell Seth how you feel then see what he says."

"Oh AJ, us girls are so much more complicated than that."

"It can't be that hard."

"How about you just go up to Punk and tell him you love him?"

"K shut up. Thar's different, Phil has a girlfriend but Seth doesn't."

"Fair enough, but what do I do about falling for Stephen?"

"Listen, figure out which one you like more, follow your heart, and go with whoever you think you love the most."

"Thanks A, you truly are awesome."

"You just now figuring that out." We laughed as I continued, "By the way you and I are having a girls' night tonight."

"I'm all for it, when did you decide this?"

"It was an excuse I made up for not hanging out with Phil and Amy."

"AJ, you have to stop avoiding him. Either tell him or move on."

"I'll do it on my own time." I swung my bag over my shoulder and headed out with Kaitlyn, unaware of the listening ears that were around us.


End file.
